Day 9 | Beautiful Signs from the Universe
I am growing happier here. There was the originally shock. It’d describe my initial acclimation as a trip, hit, fall, and scrape into this space. Now I have settled in, I found routine and a process for my days. I cook, read, work, write, explore, and spend a lot of time just sitting in the space. Sometimes my anxiety puts a pit in my stomach and I feel claustrophobic. Then I breathe and look around. I grew up in the desert and I think that made me feel like only forests and places with abundance of water and green plants were beautiful. Always wanting what you don’t have. The heat of the southwest pushing me away throughout my life. I recall being as young as twelve years old and thinking “I’m getting out of here.” But as I sit in this desert, I’m reminded that it is beautiful too. Stunningly beautiful. There is culture here. I am humbled and also upset at myself for having been ungrateful for my home and the beauty it offers, despite the faults I usually linger on. Even though this is not my home, the desert feels like home in so many ways and I proud to be cut from its cloth.
Interview 6: BCC:
“I think my happiness has increased being here because my day to day is not about getting to appointments or dealing with deadlines or sitting in traffic or dealing with bullshit. It is about surviving… There are things I want to work on as a person in myself and I can do that here without the structure of society.”
-What is your definition of happiness?
“I have been thinking about that. Spacious accommodating presence. When there is no room for doubt.”
-What makes you happy?
“Oh man. I didn’t think about that part of the question. Sitting on the stoop.”
-What physical objects or technologies affect your happiness and why?
“My truck. It’s my implement for autonomy.”
-Has limited access to water affected your overall state of happiness and if so, how?
“I wouldn’t say the water so much. I think I’m the happiest here than I have been anywhere. Minus all the crap, this is the best place I’ve been so far.”
-What is one thing you wish you could do right now that you feel would bring you happiness, but you are currently unable to do it because of your environment or access to water?
“I want to go swimming so bad. I’d like to jump in a river, or lake, or the ocean, or really anything. A good sized puddle.”
-How has your happiness changed since you have been here?
“I think my happiness has increased being here because my day to day is not about getting to appointments or dealing with deadlines or sitting in traffic or dealing with bullshit. It is about surviving and these are things that I’d like to develop as a person and character. There are things I want to work on as a person in myself and I can do that here without the structure of society.”
-As of 2023, the extreme water regulations are newer to the United States population, yet in other cultures and communities around the world, the energy required for securing and maintaining water is consistently this difficult, if not more. How has this experience allowed you to empathize and think about other areas and cultures of people that have such limited access to water or has it?
“I don’t know if it’s necessarily empathizing because who am I to know? But the comprehension makes me better understand how the day gets consumed. How you’re working to eat and drink from the time you get up till the time you go to bed. There isn’t a lot of additional time to make other improvements if yours in a structure that doesn’t support it.”
-What or who has provided you comfort and happiness while being here?
“Laughter. And beautiful signs from the universe.”
-Can you tell me anything else about your current state of happiness?
“I don’t know. It’s clear.”